Damn growing pains

I cried over a boy today. Sigh.

In case this small nook in the vastness of the cyberspace universe is still open and readable to people, I'll skip the gory details and just lament the fact that I wasn't strong enough to hold the waterworks in.

PMS. Makes you as emotionally-imbalanced as hell.

Come to think of it, the only times I have cried these past few months coincided with my crazy hormonal swings. Not really a happy thought.

Anyway, I epic failed on my promise of never ever ever crying over any boy. I suck.

Welcome to the club.

Back here

I had the vague idea that my old blog was already useless and yellowing, given the present circumstances. Seeing that my most recent activity dates back to March this year, I guess it's not as irrelevant as it seems.

I took off the cross-post feature in Multiply, cause you know, Multiply sucks and Fezbook is the new king.

And besides, I kind of miss this place. Sometimes, the thought of having my thoughts drifting out there in cyberspace, without directing them to anyone in particular, offers a bit of comfort. Most people can't scream in peace nowadays without someone injecting a side comment. -_-


So.

Hello blog. I'm back.

PIDC 2009

Get your game on.

In which we discuss poisonous apples falling from (uprooted?) poisonous trees and other Such Things

If that's not reality tv, I don't know what is.

Nothing induces groans of horrified boredom more than the prospect of watching pudgy old men in a room conduct a (VERY :|) lengthy inquiry on What Really Happened. Of course I'm talking about that congressional hearing on the Alabang Boys; I had to watch it because my parents couldn't--they had to leave due to an emergency--and they wanted a "blow-by-blow" account. Trying to grow nose hair would be more exciting, but in any case, I grabbed my math notebook and plopped down in front of the tube anyway.

It was interesting enough, I suppose, with moments of much-needed comic relief-- one gentleman's comment on the resolution having too many grammatical errors merited a chuckle, and that quote about poisonous trees and poisonous fruit (or something to that effect) being read aloud sounded ridiculous enough, that it distracted me. I just didn't like it when some of them took too long to answer, which disconcertingly put my train of thought out of line. Still, I have to hand to to them; I think being in the hearing itself would have been far more agonizing than just watching it at home, where it's already desensitized and all. I could understand the state prosecutor's apparent discomfort at being flayed alive-- it was obvious from the line of questioning that they wanted him to contradict himself.

Enough of that. Why did I bother watching anyway? Because, in spite of my misgivings, I at least had to pay attention to a crucial event in determining the fate of Joseph Tecson. It's what you do when you're family friends, even though that label only applies to my parents and their parents. They're wonderful people, really. But niceness or wonderfulness doesn't make you innocent, or guilty. At this point it really is about technicalities--and whether those investigating this would actually be able to secure this writhing eel of an issue in the right places. It seems that they've tangled themselves in unsightly knots as of the moment, what with the constitutional neepery and all.

My parents are solidly convinced that the boys should be let off at once. I suppose friendship has something to do with that. As for myself, I remain undecided. I just wish he hadn't been using drugs in the first place. I can't imagine the kind of agony the family's going through--to have your moment of pain flashed on national television, to be picked apart again and again by people from all sides. It's a media circus masquerading as public vigilance; it's so easy to forget that we're dealing with real people here, and that usually, it's the families of those involved who get the worst of it.

For the people who have long been resigned to any Philippine government institution's incompetence, to finally and solidly capture someone will be a welcome change from the system's morbidly unchanging habit of not doing anything. Perhaps money and power isn't everything afterall.

The Law is a blunt instrument. It's not a scalpel. It's a club.* I just hope that if PDEA does get the Alabang Boys, they won't revert back to the selective bludgeoning that's been plaguing this society for centuries. It's gone on long enough.

Note to self

Pictures are for capturing moments, and words are for committing them to memory, but memes are for times when both are insufficient. It'll take too many hours and too many words to describe the awesomeness of 2008; hopefully what the general idea of this year was, this post can chronicle, all in the span of 40 questions.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

Hm, lots. Commuted alone; went home as late as 10 pm; walked 4.4 kms in 43 minutes (:|); talked to completely random strangers, roughly one per week; got sloshed in muddy puddles; snail-mailed a package(!); saw the moon make a smiley; watched naked men running in the corridor...

Grew up, mostly.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I never make any, cause I usually can't remember. Oftentimes it'll go something like, "I shall remember all of my relatives' names and faces correctly this time around," or "I shall grow a plant and feed it and pet it and hug it and name it Bunny," or "I shall read the Bible as a piece of literature for this year," or even, "I shall make a shiny ball of mud just because I want to", but yeah, it never happens.

They aren't really resolutions. Mostly it's because I want to remind myself to do one cool thing per year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Does our dog count?

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Lolo. Well he hasn't really, but in any case, he's been wanting to since September. :| Nope, it didn't happen this year, maybe it won't happen in the coming year. Poor lolo.

5. What countries did you visit?

Meh, none. Boo.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

Complete training hours. HAHAHAHAHA. And more money and love to go around. :)

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory?

Hmm... dates of my period. HAHA. It comes pretty regularly. Er, not so good with dates. :))

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Graduating, probably. Whew. Finally out of the clutches of my high school, which means we can now do PMs, right Shai? =)) Hahahahahahaha.

And also, passing Math 17. Glad that's over.

9. What was your biggest failure?

To be honest, the whole first semester had one moment of failure too many. I suppose it was my fault, as I was naive enough to think that I can handle crap standing up. Ah well. Got knocked off my socks pretty often, but the important thing is, it was very educational. I guess I'm a little wiser now.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Aside from the occasional bouts of hyperacidity and abdominal cramps, none.

Oh no, wait. Right. Ozzy bit me two weeks ago. :|

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My blue automatic foldable umbrella, which cost me dearly. :| And my fan.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Zarah, for her "rebel day" episode three weeks ago. =)) =)) HAHAHA.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

That vile politician. :|

(Googling "vicissitude" and "decidido" together yields 17,500 results-- and about 10 pages of the search results are about the blog post, before it all peters out to less relevant pages. Kudos to Bambee de la Paz and the internet!)

14. Where did most of your money go?

Commuting. Food. Drinks. Debsoc fees. =))

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

When David Cook won over Archuleta in AI. I watched the results show x number of times, to the point that I nearly memorized the program sequence. :| It made me very very happy. And yes, I still feel rather smug about it all. :P

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2008?

Womanizer (Britney Spears). Crush (David Archuleta). Viva La Vida (Coldplay). With You (Chris Brown). Disturbia (Rihanna). Hmm... and there's definitely a Jonas Brothers song there somewhere...

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

1. happier or sadder? happier
2. thinner or fatter? thinner (although the holidays negated much of that :|)
3. richer or poorer? richer, in many ways :)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Hanging out with friends more, both old and new.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Being late for my 10 AM classes. Eep.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Same as always every year: a trip to Pampanga to visit my dad's side for lunch, and then dinner with grandparents on my mom's side later.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?

I realize that I've never used the phone since God-knows-when, so for this question I'll refer to people I usually talk to on Yahoo messenger.

Yup, it's you. You know that, right? :))

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?

Haha.

23. How many one night stands in this last year?

None, but let me quote Nica on this:

Always practice! Kahit hindi safe basta sex lang! (Endaluz, 2008)

Go Nica! =)) =))

24. What was your favourite TV programme?

American Idol. The Amazing Race. Pushing Daisies. Mythbusters!!!

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Hating people is just an unnecessarily tiring thing, you know? Which is why I don't do it. Not for long periods of time anyway. It usually fizzes out by the next day.

26. What was the best book(s) you read?

Meh, this year was not a good book year. For me at least.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

The X-box Song, by Tripod. Thanks Kuya Luis.

28. What did you want and get?

An uno for Socio 10, 1st sem. And Stardust for this Christmas. :D

29. What did you want and not get?

If I can't remember, it probably means that it doesn't really matter anyway.

30. What were your favourite films of this year?

Prince Caspian, because Ben Barnes is yummy. =)) =)) Kung Fu Panda. HSM 3. A Very Special Love (<3 John Lloyd!).

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

On my birthday, I woke up to a screaming gale battering against my window. Hours later, the electricity went out. Gah. Not the stress-free 18th birthday I was hoping for. :|

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Getting higher grades? Or being smart enough to work for it in the first place. Oh well.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

I like being comfortable. Flats and sneakers are pretty much a staple with me.

34. What kept you sane?

My imaginary friend who's sitting next to me.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, among others. And the Mythbusters crew. They're awesome.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

The RH Bill, among others, and how my old school is handling the situation (read: it's pushing the anti-RH Bill notion down its students' throats without letting them think for themselves! :|). It's the same with my parents too, so I'm pretty much a closet pro-RH Bill freak. :| Gaaaah.

37. Who did you miss?

Old frieeeeeeends!!! And high school humor. :(

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I like everyone I meet, really. As for the best...

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

As Bear Grylls always says, "Always keep going." (I'm sorry it's not more profound or poetic. Maybe next year.)

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

--from Regina Spektor's The Call

Daft, that's what

Of course it came as a shock to see my classmates answering a test the moment I came in. My teacher whipped around and pointed to the board, where there a list of people who had missed previous requirements. Not only was I missing out on the exam-- I still hadn't passed two exercise sets. Damn. And this was Physics, a subject I hadn't made peace with yet. I stood there feeling god-awful, while centripetal forces whirred in my head and blew my brain to bits. It was an epic fail of a morning. :| Thankfully enough, my teacher rescheduled my exam to the next day, so I could study.

I suppose it was my fault that I got sidetracked that day, that I was squandered my minutes like money found in the gutter, and that two hours into the silent darkness of the morning, I realized that I was utterly unprepared for a squeamish encounter with the forces that be.

I died a little, inside. Only two options made sense to me: cramming, and praying for divine intervention. At this point, I wasn't really hoping for the Almighty's hand. It was only during the midst of negotiating the principles of Boyle's Law for the sake of my poor head, that I stopped and realized that

SHIT. I'm in a dream for crying out loud. And a mental recap of my subjects for this semester showed not a single particle of the neurosis that is Physics. :|

Gah, that really ruined my sleep. I can't believe I didn't suspect it to be a flaky sort of reality when I saw my highschool Physics teacher handing me my exercise sets.

I really hate these dreams. :|

-----

As a sidenote:

I can't remember if we also took up the Gas Laws in my fourth year, which would mean that we studied it in Physics. I expect I'll be digging around for my old notebook in the coming days, just to the sake of knowing; I just want to verify dream logic-- afterall, it's not the most reliable sort out there. (I think Gas Laws straddles the two fields, chemistry and physics, so studying it in a dream isn't completely invalid... right?)

Meh.

The fact that I actually have to think about this tidbit bothers me. :|

Charlie the unicorn is the boonana king

There was a mad crush of people in front of AS this morning-- apparently everyone were thinking of the same "strategic place" to view the spectacle of naked men running. I dunno, I simply wanted to see what all the fuss was about, but I wasn't as competitive as the other people around me. (For one, I didn't bring a camera, and for another, I didn't really mind the prospect of not seeing them.) It was pretty interesting all the same, just being there, even though the person next to me was already using me as a pseudo-tungtungan in an effort to glimpse fleshy body parts. (I politely made him stop. Geez.)

The Run was over in pretty much 10 minutes or less. Basically they just stood there, in the nude, waving placards that denounced the government. And then they went back in. People around me pressed forward, wanting to follow. Partly because I wanted to go to the CAL lib (aircon, hooray!), and partly because going through AS would be a cooler option than walking outside, I let myself flow with the tide of people going in. There was a crowd in the lobby-- didn't bother to see what they were looking at though. I made my way to the right side, quite happy about the uncongested corridor I could actually walk in.

It was a little over one third of the way when people suddenly began waving other people to the side, telling them to clear the way.

And that was when I stopped

and saw

the Oblation Run.

Finally. The whole male anatomy de-mystified. :))

I never thought that their organs actually bounced, you know? But yeah, kebs. It pretty much looks as it should, so much so that it seems funny now to be so scandalized with the idea of nudity. (Jenina, you can take us to your relative's nudist resort in the mountains now! HAHA.)

I suppose it's also worthwhile to mention that I got a rose. I tried putting it in my bag, but then it bobbed in a way that was disconcertingly akin to what I had just watched. So I held it instead going to class, like an unwieldy sceptre that's near decapitation, until I negotiated a better placement for it in my bag.

It's now hanging near my bed, next to my prom corsage.