Ode to THE COLD

Maybe I'm socially backward but am too insane to realize it. Sigh.

I never really did get people. As in minsan... hindi ko lang talaga sila gets. I thought friends were people who were warm and cheerful and sympathetic, even if they didn't want to be. I thought friends were supposed to be "the shoulder to cry on", "the wall to lean on", "the hanger to hang with", "the box of chocolates-which-you-never-know-what-you're-gonna-get"(okay, malabo yung isang yun), but aside from being the embodiment of every well-meaning cliche conceived in this language, they are supposed to just BE THERE. Regardless of distance. Or situation. Or ANYTHING at all!

They are FRIENDS. Doesn't that mean anything?

It means something to me! Why is it that whenever I give myself fully, I always end up on the losing side? I just want someone to look in my direction, squeeze my hand say it's all right to buckle down and sob into my pillow, to say that loneliness is a poverty which afflicts more human beings that I can imagine possible, and that it's not true people forget friends so easily. I just don't want to go through this paralysis alone; I just want someone to be there even when peple are snowblasting me in my face.

But if not...

Well then.

I just wish you'd tell me you've stopped being my friend, just so I won't have to think about you. At all.