Ah, these days, these days

Have you always been able to draw?

I think anyone can draw, but it takes a little more dedication and work to get to the place that you want. and i find that talent can mean a lot of things and not necessarily that drawing comes easily to you. i remember watching one of ian mccaig's videos (the one who did the costume concept art for star wars) and he said that everyone can be at the level he is if they're willing to work...and that talent may or may not be there but it's more of something that you love to do. i know that there are a few people who find that drawing is easy to them but they don't want to pursue it because it just isn't their thing.

I think everyone has to work at it, or else they'll never get anywhere. and i agree that everyone has their bad drawing days... i know i get enough of those. and i find it difficult to see how people can get worse from where they started... i think it's just a matter of getting back into the swing of things and learning how your motivation and creativity waxes and wanes. sometimes it just means applying yourself in a different direction... so i think it's just a matter of understanding yourself and what your body and mind is telling you. i learned that from my experience forcing out results can leave you burnt-out and often than not it's less than stellar. --sporkii

BURN-OUT

I used to think that I had a knack for writing, and that most likely I was going to pursue that someday. Which is why I wonder why I have never ever wrote anything by myself, for myself, just for the heck of it. I've written for school work, I've written for somebody else, I've written when I have to, but not necessarily because I wanted to in the first place. So... let me scratch my head and step back. When Misha was my seatmate, she SCRIBBLED over EVERYTHING she had: cds, things, aprons, pictures, her Starbucks planner, her history book (so she could annoy me). But the important thing is, she loved to write and she did it everywhere. I tried making a shadow of a novel just because I wanted to. I ended up disgusted and gave it up. Somehow, I can't find it in me to write with as much depth as I want to, the way my most admired authors do. Maybe because I don't have anything to say in the first place. Or that I just don't have the words to say what I want to.

What is okay to write, and what's not? I always find myself steering clear of overly-used topics because I have this strong desire to be original. To be original, and to write something splendid and marvelous and so unabashedly GREAT that I'll have my worst critic nodding with approval-- that is, myself. But I've always been so conscious with form, with that mumbo-jumbo about originality that the first ideas often lose their sparkle after the initial murdering survey. And so I end up with nothing, yet again.

Ah, a paradox. I've trapped myself in a paradox. And I'm gridlocked.

BURN-OUT

I'm a bit of Jo, a bit of Amy.

I'm in limbo.